Wednesday, July 14, 2010

A Simple Prayer and Wishful Thinking.


"Please God, just one more hug." She kept saying this over and over through her tears and barely audible with all of the jet noise. She broke my heart. I felt so guilty that I just had to stand there and run my fingers through her hair, hold her close and know it was only wishful thinking. I know my God is big. That I am firm in, but her prayer? God was still good, but her Daddy had to go, like so many times before. So many thoughts were running through my head of things I wanted to tell her. Things like, "God has seen us through so many deployments, Ninnie, He is right here," "Daddy has to go, but God is still good," He always promised to walk us through the valley not around it." These were more for my heart at that moment because over the noise and her tears, that conversation would be better had at bedtime when we could snuggle and really talk. As the jets rolled away and eventualy became airborne, I could hear her say one more time to herself, "Just one more hug." My throat ached but I refused to let the tears come. This was the closure I needed her to see; Daddy was gone, God was still good and sometimes doesn't answer our prayers the way we think He should, and now at least our countdown could continue. But it still broke my heart, but never once did I think to pray the same thing. In fact, at that moment, God had answered my prayer. That Patrick's jet would be safe and he would leave without problems to his jet. His safety, that's what I wanted. She wanted a hug. Sweet, but my prayer was more logical.

Fast forward 3 hours. The text came; all 6 jets and the tanker were headed back to Beaufort and he needed a ride home.

She got her one more hug. God made jets come back so my girl could see Him answer a prayer, that to anyone else, would be just wishful thinking.

I learned a small lesson from my 6 year old daughter. I want the faith to pray the Please-God-just-one-more-hug prayers.