18 years.
18 years ago God knew the world would need a you. He knew I would. You will oh so shortly be loading up your truck and heading off to start a new chapter, one that I won't be nearly as present. I know all too well how soon, how real, and how incredibly hard that goodbye is. So as I sit here on the eve of The Day of Cole I wonder if I shared with you all that I wanted to before we begin this leaving thing. I haven't. There's no way. So here's my list. 18 things in honor of the 18 years I have had the privilege to be called "Mom" by you. 18 things I hope, no matter what, you already know. 18 things I hope you have heard at least once that made it stick. But just in case....
1. Know you are His. If the enemy had had his way, you would never have walked a day on this earth. Oh how hard he tried, but there was my God. He strengthened our family. He restored. He knew. Ever before I even knew you were to be, He knew that the world needed you. You have a great purpose that the enemy tried to destroy, but God...2. Know He wants you to live for Him. Even when you mess up, He wants you to get back up, brush yourself off, and keep going. Nothing is ever too big. Too messed up. Too late. Too much. Too hard. It's all a part of His story. You. Are a part of His story.
3. Know who your people are. They are the ones loving you. Praying for you. Encouraging you. Believing in you. I can think of 5 immediately. I know there's more. But 5 is a great place to start.
4. Know you can always come home...for awhile. I say this somewhat tongue in cheek. You see if you need to regroup or rethink or refresh we are here. But you were meant and created to go and soar and do great things outside of our walls.
5. Know we've also messed up. So don't ever think something is too big to tell us. That's why we were chosen just for you. You are loved.
6. Know when to open a door...and when to shut one. You've known from knee-height to open a door for a lady, or an older person, or really anyone, but it's not really that door I am thinking of. Never be afraid to try a door you've never walked through. Never be afraid of the failure that a door won't open or that it's not the right one. And never be too proud to know if it's a door that needs to be shut. Sometimes God allows a door to stay open in hopes that in wisdom you will shut it and walk away trusting Him.
7. Speaking of...Know when to walk away. From people. From a girl. From a situation. From a class. From anything that is not right.
8. And know when to stay. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is stay. Because it's the right thing. Things that are worth your time and effort are rarely easy. Hard can be good. And you might miss out on something that could be amazing just because it might be difficult.9. Know your limit. Of anger. Of patience. Of safe. Of finances. Of investing in someone.
10. Know the names of the people you meet. Everyone wants to be remembered. Remembering the name of someone could mean the difference of a yes or a no. A job or no job.
11. Know how to say no. To people. To a relationship. To a request. Not every need is your specific calling.
12. Know how to say yes. To people. To a relationship. To a request. Sometimes a very simple need is exactly what God is asking of you.
13. Know how to speak up. Even if it is against the crowd. Find your voice. Help those that can't help themselves and be the voice that speaks Truth.
14. Know the value of a life. "A person's a person no matter how small," ~Dr. Seuss. Every person you will encounter is made in the very image of the One Who created you. Beg God to see others the way He sees them. Everyone has a story and everyone has a chapter they don't want anyone to see. Don't ever let someone drown out the truth that all life is valuable regardless of age, gender, color, born or unborn. If one life holds value, every life does.
15. Know that an education is only the beginning. You are a life-long learner. Keep learning. Keep finding the wonder.
16. Know that what you expect is all you will ever get. If you expect to struggle in a class, you will struggle. If you expect to be treated as if you don't matter, you won't matter. If you expect to be average, average you will be. If you expect that every moment is just another opportunity to make Him known, He will use you in ways you would never even have imagined.
17. Know what matters. Your relationship with Christ. Your faith. Your walk. Your family. Your life.
18. Know this. I will miss you. I will cry the day I have to say goodbye but it doesn't mean I don't want you to go. I want you to go. I have made it my job to watch you go. There is an entire plan out there written just for your life. But I will miss you. I will think of 100 reasons for you to stay. I will remember 100 things I have possibly forgotten to tell you. I will remember 100 memories of my second born son. But I will let you go. Because you are ready. There are so many people on your path in life that need to meet you. It's selfish for me to hold onto you. I am so thankful for the time I had you under my roof. I am so thankful you call me "mom."
Happy 18th Birthday sweet Cole. No matter what, know what matters.
